The particular thing about these Carvers - I know, I've mentioned these motherfuckers before, but I can't seem to get them off my mind - is that they are the most loathsome group of individuals whom ironically despise individualism iself - a bit of hypocrisy it seems we have here - no doubt these Carvers will just nestle themselves right into my list of people to destroy, my list which is chiefly organized around one common theme, it seems, in fact most of the individuals on my list are subject to emitting some daft proportions of hypocrisy to a certain extent - these Carvers are no exception.
They are the pitfall of society and the guardians of the capitalist slops which they so eagerly pour into the Wal-Marts, I'm sorry, I mean troughs, of the world - and the world's people feast from the slop like hungry pigs - consuming vast proportions of left overs; earthpoo. The pigs bloat so effortlessly at the expense of themselves, and at the benifit of the Carvers, who are the cooks of the slop, and the keepers of the pen. And oh please, don't try to assume that the pigs are unable to escape the simple confines of the pen - they are taught to remain inside this trap; the slop is pure concentrated conspiracy that is full of addictive substances, fatty acids, etcetera...
These Carvers - ugh, I ache at the thought of these motherfuckers - my hands clamp my temples like a vice, and I don't mean the evil type of vice, but the vice that a Carpenter might use in his shop - oh Jesus - a Carpenter - I should have known, there is no escape from these bastards. The Carvers, the Carpenters, the Masons - what other evil group might arise to foil simple pleasures? What extra hoard of conspirators might present themselves upon some dell of my cerebrum?
"Gentlemen," the general of the Carvers stands in a small valley, speaking to an army of gentlemen, armed with some sorts of long, thin weapons which clank against eachother in the wind, "It is time to go into battle. Attack the portions of this area which you think are most vulnerable to our methods. For instance, if the subject resists your advances, offer him or her a low interest rate - and if all else fails, offer them no down payment - this is the opportune moment to strike!"
That day, the Carvers only gained control of 1/1,000,000,000th of my cerebrum; it doesn't seem much, but their army advances slowly but surley, and their objectives are almost always met with devistating precision. In time, I will fall to the army in one way or another. Either, my cerebrum will cease to operate efficiently under the rule of the Carvers, or I will have to amass my own legion of warriors, and take back the land that was rightful to me, not to those motherfuckers - not the Carvers. Ugh, there's that vice again - and there's that damn carpenter; Jesus!
