The next time Reeder goes through the drive-thru, a common occurrence in this American way (and possibly globally, though I don't know the status of fast-food proliferation in other nations), he will throw up a steel coffee can affront the speak, and when the personnel asks, "Welcome to Fast Place would you like to try our (x)?", you will bang the hell out of this can with your car keys (yes, you might just have to remove them from the ignition - this process might wear on your starter) and you will yell "Clipped to his fat!"
This phrase, when heard on the other end of the speak, will sound like some alien ruler from a far off planet, possibly, or maybe a tribal ritual from Africa, stereotypically, as it will probably be listened to by some unfortunate African-American, this might prove to be most entertaining.
Khlipthuis Fatt; Reeder shant be afraid to blend these words as such, as this will only enhance confusion, and thus eccentricity of the random act. These poor folks on the other end of the speak, patiently awaiting your orders at a commission of five and a half to no more than eight dollars per hour, are indeed so poor at this moment, having to put up with such a wreched occupation, and now, having to deal with some unorderly business that was not explained to them in training: how to deal with foolish customers.
Reeder shouldn't worry about feeling racist or generally bad about doing this, though its probably completley natural if Reeder does feel these ways - they are unfortunate feeling that have been established from the very succeptable times of childhood. It is mereley the procussion of an empty coffee tin against a set of keys, the addition of your voice only personalizes the act, and adds valor to the courageous scene, in which drivers waiting behind Reeder might observe, "Ah, this fool. Oh, and now he speaks! Now I know what his voice sounds like. Ah, yes... he has a stupid voice! What a fool! What is he saying?"
Some obscure passage should never be avoided, wheather it is a convex vagina that pinches at its own ends, or a cobblestone road whose own name is so descriptive of how it feels to your shaking face as your wheel-based conveyance strugles to maintain a smooth ride over such obscurity, or even if the passage is through a simple hallway with a band of gangsters approaching your direction, spreading across the entire width; Reeder wonders to himself, "Will they open a passage for me? Or will I end up having to make a rough contact with two of them, possibly starting a brawl that most certainly would end up in my defeat..."
Don't turn around. Make your own passage, forge through the crappy flood of crap that lurks almost everywhere you walk while in public. These publics - this public, you should never fear that it will make you take passages you don't want to take; this is obscene. The public is a loose, weak network of people who are just as timid as Reeder might feel; this public is so easily penetrated for obscure use, its irresistable; its like a batch of pumpkins on the first of November, just waiting to be taken and craked open - exposing what guts and seeds have not been previously removed by the Carvers.
The Carvers - let me tell you something about these motherfuckers - the Carvers are this hoard of thieves who steal many things including: youth; culture; abstinence; the ability to comfortably daydream without thinking that you're wasting your time; cash; budding friendships, and sometimes, long-lasting friendships; a well balanced diet; vacations; cheap gasoline; small pills that when placed in warm water, inflate into small foam dinosaurs which you can later use as a cleaning sponge; economical utility; diversity; the unacceptance of poorly manufactured products which are designed to fall apart after five years of use so that it may further the ends of the great economy; knowledge of heirarchical institutions and practices; true liberty; the abundance of clams; the abundance of good music; mainstream obscurity; surrealism as a form of popular entertainment; the ability of the newsmedia to be trusted and thus important; drinkable water from nature; the agility and practicality of a bicycle; information which would make the powerful look less than powerful; the dignity of people who choose not to drink alcohol; your face.
